Reflections on Washington: NatureGirl Edition

Now that we are in full-gear to head to the hot, sweaty Texas beach, it seems like our lengthy stay in Washington was a long time ago. True, we have been home for 10 days, and in that amount of time we've been very busy and have unexpectedly bought a new car (a 2008 Jeep Commander, blog to come!!). That being said, I feel like I need to recap a little bit...

When you see breathtaking views like this, you can certainly appreciate Bible verses like, "I will lift up my eyes to the hills -- from whence comes my help? My help comes from the LORD, who made heaven and earth." Psalm 121:1-2 is one of my many favorite mountain verses. Views like this inspire me more than any other natural scene on earth. Being under the thick canopy of fir trees, feeling the crisp air filter down to the soft bed of needles or the crunchy snow gets into my very bones and makes me feel like there's a whole other side to life that I'm missing out on. Rather than refreshing me to come back and face daily life with renewed zeal, it haunts me the way a good dream does, one that is so lovely that to wake up is to break your heart. This is certainly not the first time I have been to the mountains or the Pacific Northwest; in fact, in my travel journal I wrote:

The Pacific Northwest remains one of my most favorite places in America. The natural scenery, the mountains, the delicate wildflowers, the lush green gerns, and the weather all call to me like an old friend that I had forgotten about.

These little wild mountain violets blessed my socks off. They were the only color splashed on a landscape of fir needles where the snow had only recently melted. These delicate little fellows would never have withstood the intense Texas heat, but they boldly proclaimed their presence in a world washed with hues of browns and greens.

Why add words to this picture? This was at Rainier, but I'm convinced that someday, I'll have property and a house somewhere where I'll get to see this as often as I want. Either that, or maybe heaven will have this. Who knows. :) I'm fairly certain I'm related to John Denver now or something.

This picture of the pine cone and the one below of the budding tree remind me of pictures that S4J and my uncle D. take. They are naturals at taking amazing photographs of very simple things and drawing the eye to lovely small details. I'm particularly fond of the way the snow caught the light and sparkles around the pine cone. The way the sunshine caused a slight glare around one of the buds on the tree seemed spiritually symbolic to me of new life and the Holy Spirit shining through us to others when we created new in the blood of Christ.

Just in case you are wondering, the kids handled going on their first plane ride(s) beautifully. They navigated through airports, escalators, trams, and moving walkways better that most adults I know, and even the two hour difference in time didn't seem to bother them too much. I, however, was exhausted as I was the one up early, packing, moving heavy stuff, herding them to the proper gates and whatnot. I'd love to take them to Hawai'i sometime. They would handle the travel fine, once they got used to the time change. Until then, we're going to enjoy tooling around in the new car and on our bikes. In an effort to promote getting exercise and saving money on gas, I've made the executive decision that we're riding our bikes to Lil' G's school to drop her off and pick her up this year, weather and time permitting. She's doing great on a kid's bike with training wheels, and this is the setup I've got now for Bud and me:

Just a stock photo -- not anyone that I know. But I got the mountain bike up and running, so now I just have to do some test runs to school to see how long it takes us to get there. One thing I loved about the Tacoma area is that they have over 200 bike trails up there, for all levels of ability and even some designated as family friendly. Where I live simply does not have the same kind of enthusiasm for anything short of NASCAR, high school football, or eating Mexican food. I want my kids to grow up loving the outdoors, animals, exercise, healthy AND yummy food (not that nasty crap that people want you to think is healthy -- I'm talking fresh, real stuff), and not be so used to a fast-food lifestyle and culture. I want to focus less on team sports and extracurricular committments and focus on being active as a family, travelling and experiencing life together, not rushing around eating Cartilage McNuggets in the back of a mini-van on our way to tee-ball, soccer, and dance lessons.

As of tomorrow, I'll be out of pocket for a few days, digging the sand out of hard-to-find places and drinking gin and tonic or rum and coke out of my 64 oz. truck stop mug. I think the kids will be around there somewhere... Just kidding! No need call CPS just yet. I owe you all a good picture of the new member of my family, my Commander, and as promised, the BIG SECRET is about to be unveiled. HisGirl and I are still working on technical difficulties, so please stand by and keep checking back...

Featured Blogger: Father Hollywood

I had to cackle out loud when I saw the pic on his blog today. I tell ya, I was certainly no angel in college, but there was still plenty of activity going on that made even me blush. Even though I didn't live in the same town as my parents and I was old enough to vote, I still knew they'd kick my butt if I was doing things I knew better than to do, i.e., drive drunk, make an ass of myself, or kiss another girl for Girls Gone Wild. Apparently I must be one of a dying breed...

**Just a little background on this guy: he's an LCMS Lutheran pastor in NOLA. He's called Father Hollywood because he used to work at Hollywood Video (coincidentally that was my first job, too, but before it was called by that name; it used to be Video Central, but I digress...). At any rate, he always posts his sermons online and is bold enough to put his opinions out there. Seems to be an interesting read so far!

MeMe: Let's Play Favorites!

FAVORITE PERSON OUTSIDE OF FAMILY...

OK, my obvious answer would be R., but I'm trying to think of someone that I'm not even romantically linked to here. How do I even begin to narrow it down to one name?!? Out of my top 100, I will randomly pick two who hold equal sway with me. Pastor Phil and Pastor Kurt, two of my "professors" at PLMA. Pastor Phil is the words "grace" and "love" come to life. He plays guitar to open and close his lectures, cries almost every time he prays, and is just a great mentor. Pastor Kurt has challenged what I claim I believe and opened many doors to thinking for me. As a result, I can't just sit down and read my Bible for a simple devotion. So many think come flying off the page at me that it just makes my brain hurt, and I'm so thankful for that!

FAVORITE FOOD...

Again, so hard to narrow it down to just one. I love ethnic foods of all kinds. Then again, down home cookin' and comfort food can't be beat, either. I think the best food is that which satisfies as many of your senses at one time as possible. Anything involving gravy rates top-notch, as does garlic and cheese. Oooh, oooh, Gordon-Biersch garlic fries rock!

QUIRKS ABOUT ME...

Holy Schnikes, this could get long! Mmmm, I prefer even numbers to the extent that I only put my thermostats on even numbers. I also can't sleep in a bed that doesn't have the sheets tightly tucked in at the foot of the bed. I can't stand a wrag or sponge to be left sitting sopping wet in the bottom of a sink. You know, little things...

HOW WOULD THE PERSON WHO LOVES ME DESCRIBE ME IN TEN OR LESS WORDS...

From R.'s perspective, I think he might say passionate, emotional, motivated, goofy, and he'd better say deeply sensitive. Actually, this afternoon he called me bipolar because I went from being self-confident and excited about something to wishy-washy and self-doubting in about 20 seconds.


From Lil' G and Bud's perspective, I think they would say silly, loving, strict, fun, safe/protective, whatever fits whether or not they're watching cartoons or sitting in Time Out.

ANY REGRETS IN LIFE...

I have more of these than I do quirks, but only because I'm so hard on myself. Maybe that should be Regret #1, because it can really steal my joy. Many days I regret not going in the military. I regret not stopping Tom on the stairs for one last kiss that last morning, or taking him some lunch. I regret so many things, but I always know I can come to my Father and cry it out. It's time to quit regretting and starting getting down that road.

FAVORITE CHARITY/CAUSE...

Definitely NOT the Department of Public Safety Officer's Association because they stalk me and guilt-trip me about donating money to them. I love World Vision and anything that helps children and families. I also love anything that supports soldiers, single or married, and their families.

FAVORITE BLOG RECENTLY...

See my last post...

SOMETHING I DON'T GET ENOUGH OF...

R.'s kisses on top of my head as we're just standing or sitting around, hearing the kids running around or having them crawl all over us... My children's smiles... Feeling like things are going to be OK on a long-term basis...

WORST JOB I'VE EVER HAD...

I would say at a vet's office were I was the kennel worker, a.k.a. human pooper scooper, but that was actually a step up from the insurance office I worked at for about nine months in college.

WHAT JOB WOULD YOU PAY NOT TO HAVE...

Anything that would qualify me to be on the cast for "Verminators."

FAVORITE BIBLE VERSE...

More of these than regrets, thankfully!!! Really, it all comes down to John 17:20-26. Jesus was praying for all those, in the days of world history to come from that point forward, who would believe in Him. He was praying for ME!! He had my name on His mind, interceded for me, just before He was to be crucified. If that's not love, I don't know what is.

GUILTY PLEASURE...

The grande-sized Cold Buster w/ energy booster from Jamba Juice.

FAVORITE THING ABOUT MY HOUSE...

My kitchen and my bathroom. Really nice w/ marble in the bath and granite and great appliances in the kitchen. Which is good b/c I live in the kitchen.

LEAST FAVORITE THING ABOUT MY HOUSE...

That it's in the hottest state in the union. :)

IF I COULD CHANGE MY CIRCUMSTANCES, WHAT WOULD I CHANGE...

that I would have the patience to allow God to let things unfold at His timing and that I would not worry about the future. I can trust R. and God, and I don't have to be in the driver's seat.

WHO WOULD I LIKE TO MEET SOMEDAY...

Other than getting to meet my Savior, it's all downhill from there.

WHAT MAKES YOU FEEL SEXY...

The fact that R. loves me with no make-up on and the fact that I am healthier than I've been in a good 10-15 years.

WHO IS MY REAL LIFE HERO?

My children, hands down. They've gone through more in their lives than most adults I know, and they still love, trust, laugh, and are happy.

WHAT IS THE HARDEST PART OF MY JOB?

Having to do it by myself.

WHEN AM I MOST RELAXED?

When I'm with R. and the kids.

WHAT STRESSES ME OUT THE MOST?

My inability to have patience and trust. I allow people and/or circumstances to get me all wound up.

WHAT CAN I NOT LIVE WITHOUT?

Besides the obvious answer (kids), hands down my iPhone, which I learned the hard way this week... Sounds like a blog waiting to happen...

WHY DO I BLOG?

Lotsa reasons. I started blogging on MySpace two years ago because I felt like I wanted to be a positive portal on that smut hole. I wanted to put myself in a position to reach people with my story and show them the Gospel through my friendship and my experiences. I don't care a thing about bringing people to the Lord through "leading them through the sinner's prayer" or throwing theology or scripture at them. If they are going to respond to the Holy Spirit, that's great. I simply wanted to be used by God as an instrument as He calls people to Himself. To be transparent and let people dissect my life and examine their own. Truly, I'd love to be another Dooce and make my living off of my blogging and/or publish books like David Sedaris.

WHO AM I TAGGING?

If you've read this, you're tagged! Just post a comment with a link to your site and we'll throw some traffic your way!!

Featured Blogger: Playgroupie Jennifer

I know I've referenced this site before, but after reading this entry, I nearly fell off the chair laughing. I'm needing some humor in my life these days to take the edge off, and that's why I hit sites like hers.

Besides her and Mama P, these two women keep me in stitches. I have a sneaky feeling that, were Mama P and I to be in the same room, we'd be a force of nature to be reckoned with!!

Who do you guys read for a good, hard gut laugh? (And no, laughing at me to remind yourself of how normal you are doesn't count!! j/k)

MercyMe Has Done It Again

Now that I have recovered from the shock of what I have just seen, I can't wait to share it with you, the bloggy public. I will spare you with the long story of how I found it, but if you: a) love flashing back to old songs, b) love MercyMe, c) like acoustic/bluegrass music, d) any combination of the above, or e) ALL of the above, then you're gonna get such a kick outta this. I found myself dancing, harmonizing, musing at how they pulled this off, and eventually laughing until I cried. Enjoy!!!

For all of us who secretly practiced dancing like a mummy in front of our bathroom mirrors and wanted the red leather jacket to boot:



For all you "oldsters" out there who actually admit to doing the hustle in public:



For the hard-core Rick Astley fans, a tribute complete with hard-core triangle playing:



This was the best song in the group to me, and it had an ending reminiscent of the dear ole Chokemaster himself:



Not near as good, but should satisfy Vanilla Ice groupies:



And lastly, this one is dedicated to HisGirl and S4J (do you think they could've transposed down a step or two?!?):

Pit Stop: Home

Well, we have arrived home again from our time in Washington to the disgusting, oppressive heat in the grand ole state of Texas. Can you tell I'm thrilled to be home? There is something to be said for sleeping in one's own bed after a lengthy travel, but it's a bittersweet thing for me this time around. Once again, I'm having to reacclimate to being alone, and I don't like it one bit. My heart is with R. but my mind has got to be plugged in here, and I'm stressed out and distracted. You can imagine how much fun I am to be around right now!

It was a good, memorable experience. Can't really call it a vacation, because that's not what it was intended to be. I've been working on uploading pictures for almost an hour now, going through them and wondering just where the time went and how fast it went by. The kids really handled travelling well, and actually handled the time change better than me, truth be told. I look forward to schlepping them up there again sometime in the not-too-distant future, but with R.'s schedule being full of travel and unpredictability, and kids starting school soon, I'm not sure when that will be. However, we do have a family vacation planned with aunts, uncles, cousins, and grandparents next week, and I'm trying to talk S4J into a mini-chicas this weekend.



Yes, yes, Gretchen and I did have our "MIRL," and it was just the coolest. Picture my personality but putting a "relaxed and groovy," laid-back, wise, funny spin on it, and you've got the Bloggy Queen of the PNW, as I've decided to dub her. Her kids are the coolest, and Big seems like a big sweetie to boot. She was uber-cool about my puky Lil' G and energized Bud, and we even got to enjoy a glass of local wine to top off the afternoon. It was an amazing treat and blessing to get to meet her and experience her heartfelt hospitality. Can someone say Chicas '09?!? haha!!!

I'll get to posting some of the cool pics and giving everyone the run-down in a bit. Got to sort out household/essential things that were deliciously neglected whilst I retreated to the arms of my sweetie, and start preparing for another trip. I have some interesting excerpts from some journaling and just "wow" pics to put up. BTW, keep your eyes open: there is a special event coming up here at GGG's place. I'm even getting my own cool button from HisGirl to kick it off!!! Be sure to check back...

Much love to Gretchen and everyone who prayed for and over this trip, my children, my relationship, my nerves, etc. Please keep those prayers coming. We still have a long way to go, but I know that God is faithful and present and sovereign. Check back soon for the latest updates!!!

Cascade Mountain High

"I will lift up my eyes to the mountains; from where shall my help come? My help comes from the LORD, who made heaven and earth. He will not allow your foot to slip; He who keeps you will not slumber." --Psalm 121:1-3 (NASB)

R. and I took the kids up to Mt. Rainier yesterday and had such a great time. Everywhere you go around here, Rainier stands patiently, majestically, always seeming just out of reach but always nearby. Bud and Lil' G affectionately call it, "Snowy Mountain." By the first five minutes out of the car, Lil' G was completely frustrated by slipping on the snow, but Bud wanted to ski. It's a weird feeling touching the snow and being insanely cold, yet baking in the sun because it's 85 degrees outside...







Despite the kids simply acting their ages, all four of us are having a wonderful time, enjoying being together and in one anothers' presence. I would love to report that we were enjoying cooler temperatures, but that would be a bold-faced lie. I can report that we are not having the same kind of intense, melt-your-brain-to-your-skull heat up here, but in a part of the country where homes are built with no air conditioning, even the slightest amount of unseasonable heat can seem ridiculous.

To top it all off with a heapin' helpin' of gravy, the sixth and best food group, I get to have a "MIRL" (read: Meet In Real Life) with the one and only, the bloggy queen of the Pacific Northwest, none other than Gretchen herself!!! She has most graciously opened up the hospitality of her home at the beach, complete with sand dollars and bald eagles, and we are anxious to take her up on it. Photos and details upcoming...

I leave you with what R. and I like to call a "Pookie Pic." We have collected these from all around the world. Now we have one on top of a dormant North American volcano, a.k.a., Mt. Rainier...

Could You Pass The Latest Citizenship Test?

Click on the link above to take a 20-question sampling of the test given to people applying for citizenship in our country. I got a 90% -- I missed the question about senators and Susan B. Anthony. (I was waffling on the one about senators. Had I gone with my first answer, I would've gotten it right.)

I think this is timely, considering we celebrate our nation's independence on Friday. If you don't know the answers to some of these questions, and even if you do, take the time to invest a little more in what you know about our country and our government. The Constitution and the Bill of Rights is something that every single American should have a working knowledge of and be aware of what our politicians are doing that impacts our freedoms and laws. Yes, we should care about Supreme Court appointments and decisions. Yes, we should care about who is being elected to some obscure office. Look at Barak Obama's rise to fame and power. It seems like he just came out of nowhere and has somehow gotten past the Clinton dynasty to be our first black candidate for President. (Personally, I smell conspiracy alllll over that one, but we'll see...)

So enjoy! Post your scores back on here so we can see who is the nerdiest most well-informed among the group!

D-Dang!!

OK, so after that last post, I'm updating my desk calendar to see what today's verse was. Look what little gem He left under my pillow:

"Blessed is the man who perseveres under trial, because when he has stood the test, he will receive the crown of life that God has promised to those who love him." --James 1:12

Man, He is soooo reading my mail. Gotta love it.

Happy Anniversary, Schmupps...

"Therefore we also, since we are surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses, let us lay aside every weight, and the sin which so easily ensnares us, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, looking unto Jesus, the author and finisher of our faith, who for the joy that was set before Him endured the cross, despising the shame, and has sat down at the right hand of the throne of God... Therefore, since we are receiving a kingdom which cannot be shaken, let us have grace, by which we may serve God acceptably with reverence and godly fear." --Hebrews 12:1-2, 28 (NKJV)

Dearest Tom,

I wanted to make my last verse dedicated to you. I think of you every time I read vv. 1 and 2, and it gives me such hope. It helps me endure the long days as they spread out before me, here without you, knowing that I am surrounded by you and others who love me and cheer me on, praying encouragement and strength over me.

Over this last year I really hope you have been saying extra prayers for me. I hope that God has allowed you to peek into my heart, and then again, I don't. The saying that "time heals all" has felt more like a cruel joke than words of wisdom. This year has been harder than any other since you died. The longer we are apart, the harder I struggle. So many times I feel myself falling, feeling so lost and out of sorts. I went through such a dark time, a season in which past hurts were choking out my happy memories of you like wild, bristly thistles in a delicate herb garden. Just when I am ready and willing to move on, I come across baggage like this that dashes my faith and my hope. As I wrote those letters where I was supposed to be forgiving you of being some inconsiderate person, I realized my own depravity, my own sinfulness against you and realized how desperately I needed your words of forgiveness.

As I sat there in the blazing Texas heat with my hand over where yours would be, six feet underneath me in white cotton gloves, my mind raced through a rolodex of memories we made. I remembered the song being played in the hangar as you were the last man in the door at the redeployment ceremony in FT Riley, and the travel-weary smile you gave me as I smothered you in a relieved hug. I remembered how you cried so hard you almost couldn't get out the words, "I love you," the first time you told them to me, the song you had picked out for that moment, and how I drove the two hours home in happy tears. I remembered the sound of your voice, your easy laugh, and the way your eyes danced when you smiled. I also remembered seeing you for one last time in the church. You laid there, in dress blues ready to be taken into the sanctuary one last time on the shoulders of the soldiers who loved you. You were in the same exact place we were standing after leaving the church when we married, and we did a 'high five' because we were exhilarated to finally be down the aisle. Our marriage began and ended in the same place; how strange...

I need to know you are in that cloud of witnesses, Tom. The kids need to know it, too. All three of us have such a long road ahead of us. I struggle with knowing how to incorporate you into our lives without breaking their hearts, or mine for that matter. The next chapter in our lives has already begun and is moving in a good, happy direction. How do I appropriately keep you in the family without hurting him? While I'm at it, how weird is it to love two insanely different men? I wish beyond all wishing that God would just allow you a couple of words to me, a kind of "seal of approval," on everything, just to let me know that I'm doing the right thing. I feel good about all the choices that I have made so far, but knowing that it would pass muster with you would give me enormous peace of mind.

I didn't ask to be plopped in the big middle of this race I'm in, but as long as I'm here, I want to do it right, to make it to the end not just with a huff and a puff, but with flying colors. All I can think of is to keep my head down and just keep going toward what I know is right -- to keep my heart open to God's words and my eyes focused on the cross. Just promise me that you will be there with the others to tell me, "Welcome home," when I make it across that finish line.

Happy 8th anniversary, Schmupps; I miss you...