Book Review

I was in LifeWay today looking at books (because, you know, I don't have enough going on in my life and have hours to sit around contemplating life and reading for leisure). I've decided to read, The Case For Christ, by Lee Strobel, and then pass it along to R. Since one book wasn't enough to appease my appetite, I wandered through the relationship/marriage/parenting section. It's been a looong time since I had the stomach to even tolerate this aisle of the bookstore, since, to me, it represented exactly what I wanted that I didn't have and was starting to believe I'd never have again. But I digress...

So noticed a book about saving your marriage before it even began and thought, "That's a novel idea!" Just as I was reaching for it, I noticed the title, Saving Your Second Marriage Before It Begins. OK, here we GO! I have to admit, at first I was skeptical. There is almost no literature or any type of resources, Christian or secular, for widows/widowers who decide to venture into dating and marriage after loss of their spouse. I figured I would find more of the same: the same judgement passed that, just because you were about to embark on a second marriage, you were divorced (spoken in hushed, scandalized tones) and going down some sinful, regrettable road in your life. I was sooo pleasantly surprised! Written by a husband and wife Christian counseling team, they address nine questions to ask yourself before and after remarrying from the perspective of a divorcee, a widow/widower, and even the person who is marrying for the first time but is marrying someone for whom it will be their second marriage. Brilliant!

I sat down and read the first four chapters already. It was interesting to read what some of the questions were, for starters. They include:

1) Are You Ready To Get Married Again?
2) Have You Faced The Myths Of Marriage With Honesty?
3) Can You Identify Your Love Style?
4) Have You Developed The Habit Of Happiness?
5) Can You Say What You Mean And Understand What You Hear?
6) Have You Bridged The Gender Gap?
7) Do You Know How To Fight A Good Fight?
8) Do You Know How To Blend A Family?
9) Are You And Your Partner Soul Mates?

I highly recommend this book to anyone, regardless of circumstances, who is faced with the thrilling and intimidating thought of being married again. I would also challenge my married friends to grab this book (or its predecessor, Saving Your Marriage Before It Starts). They even have workbooks for men and women that have questionairres to help you assess where you are with each question, and although I haven't picked that up (I didn't see any), I think they'd make a great springboard for breaking the ice with your spouse/fiancee/etc. over these topics. I think the chapter about love style is an especially important one for couples who are already married. It really makes you stop and think about how much relationships change and just how much work marriage really is.