Pages

Friday, June 6, 2008

Today's Verse(s): Psalm 16:11, 27:11, Proverbs 3:5-6

Thought we'd go with the theme of "paths" today:

Psalm 16:11 -- "You have made known to me the path of life; you will fill me with joy in your presence, with eternal pleasures at your right hand."


Psalm 27:11 -- "Teach me your way, O LORD; lead me in a straight path because of my oppressors."


Proverbs 3:5-6 -- "Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding;


In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight."






Just a side note: all of these verses, unless otherwise indicated, are NIV. If you want to read these verses in a different translation or version, click on the title of the blog and it will take you to Biblegateway.com, where you can get it in whichever flavor you like...

Random Thoughts While I Wait on the Grass to Dry...

Outside My Window … some overgrown nandinas are waving in the crazy wind we've been having for several days now. And the rainshower we got this morning that foiled my idiotic attempt to put the smack-down on the lawn filled up my empty birdbath in about five minutes. Waiting on my birdie buddies to come and entertain me...

***

I am thinking … about a website I looked at earlier today, Aish.com . Kinda interesting. It's a Jewish website. They had a funny "Yiddish-Yinglish" dictionary and even a dating advice page, not to mention educational info and virtual tours of the Western Wall and tunnels.

***

I am thankful for … naptime; a 3 year old who is *almost* potty trained; Pilates; fresh fruit; summertime berries; my children; Pookie, in all his quirky goodness; cold Pinot Grigio; my garden; lovely sunsets from my backporch during the summertime, when there's a nice breeze and a good deal of humidity in the air...

***

From the kitchen … I have fresh mangoes that I can't wait to dive into; have to use the ground meat in the fridge today or it will be too late to use it; been craving homemade bread to go with the strawberry preserves I made, all of which make me miss my grandmother and wish I'd been born in 1905...

***

I am wearing … Texas A&M basketball grey t-shirt, maroon workout shorts; running shoes; obnoxiously large blue topaz ring that R. gave me for our first anniversary :)

***

I am creating … nothing at the moment, which isn't good. I've got too much to be doing to not be doing anything!

***

I am going … to try and relish my kids and the ages that they are and live in the moment with them this summer; to give God more of my worries and quit hanging onto them like dirty little scraps from an old security blanket; to get caught up on unfinished sewing projects this summer; to read more books and watch less TV (which I don't get to do much of now that Noggin is 24/7...)

***

I am reading . . . too many things at once! Look at my Shelfari over there... I don't think, "Wide Open Spaces," by D. Palmer made it onto that list, but it's along the lines of a Don Miller kind of book... I guess I'm a real non-fiction kinda girl. I want to get into fiction more often; it might contribute to a lighter mood, i.e. "relaxed and groovy..."


***

I am hoping … that my children will forgive me for all my shortcomings and remember their childhood with smiles rather than tears...

***

I am hearing … the quiet, subliminal white noise of the air conditioner pushing chilly air through the vent in my office


Around the house... looks like a bunch of busy people live here; need to tackle that and re-organize some stuff...

***

One of my favorite things … isn't things -- it is people, music, nature, geography, foods, love...

***

A Few Plans For The Rest Of The Week … nada; taking kids to the pool tomorrow with my brother and his girlfriend; church as per usual on Sunday...

***

Here is a picture thought I am sharing . . .

This was taken as R. and I were walking into St. Peter's Square in the Vatican last November. This is peeking through the columns at the huge basilica... Ciao, bellas!

Thursday Bonus: "Held" video

Thursday, June 5, 2008

Today's Verse: Psalm 68:4-6, 20

"Sing to God, sing praise to his name, extol him who rides on the clouds -- his names is the LORD -- and rejoice before him.

A father to the fatherless, a defender of widows, is God in his holy dwelling.

God sets the lonely in families, he leads forth the prisoners with singing; but the rebellious live in a sun-scorched land...

Our God is a God who saves; from the Sovereign LORD comes escape from death."

I came about this passage quite ironically. A precious friend of mine who I know through a local support group for local clergywomen and other women involved in (career) ministry recently shared a few passages from Psalms that spoke to her during some devotion time. I've since deleted the email and been kicking myself for it because I've felt an urging of the Spirit to get back into the Word, and particularly feeling a pull toward the Psalms. (Hey, some people call Ghostbusters when there are strange, vexing events in their lives; I, however, resort to Psalms. Go figure.)

Anyhoo, at the same time, I've been doing some recreational reading as per usual during the summer. I've been putting off projects for PLMA, again as per usual, and I have to say, I heart Donald Miller. If you flip through my bookshelf over there on the right of the blog, you'll see two of his books there. I read, "Blue Like Jazz," last summer and was simply blown away by it. Miller takes something so profound as Christian spirituality and puts it into such grace-infused, simple, loving language that you just want to sit back and say, "Yeah, man...!" when you finish reading it. So, um, yeah... Oh yeah, summertime reading... So the other book on there is, "To Own A Dragon," which is Miller's look at what his life has been like as a result of growing up without a father. It really jumped out at me because of my life situation. I'm constantly wondering what impact our family tragedy will have on the kids as they mature and grow, and in particular I have a special ache in my heart for Bud. T. died when Bud was 9 months old. The word "dad" means something but not what it means for those of us who grew up in a household with a biological, or even adoptive (I suspect), father who was a positive, loving presence in our lives. I realize the word "dad" might make many people's skin crawl. In our situation, though, I envision Bud being on this lifequest to find out "who" he is because he lacked the love and presence of his dad and never really finding it, thus leading him down a dark, miserable path for years of his life. (I can't/won't comment on any future male influence for him and the impact that I suspect it could/would have. It would be pure speculation at this point, but it is my sincere prayer that it will, in fact, come about on the Lord's timing and be exactly what all three of us need. But I digress...)

So! Psalm devotion email + Donald Miller book = Psalm 68?!? OK, here's the connection: Miller lived with a friend and his family for a number of years. It was at this time that he was going through a lot of identity crisis and finally dealing with the hurt caused by his father ditching the family when he was quite small. He was incredibly isolated and lonely, even amongst friends. This hole in his heart really consumed him. He specifically mentioned v. 6a: "God sets the lonely in families..." He believed that God was teaching him something about fathers and sons and love by allowing him that intimate time living under the same roof as this close, loving Christian family.

I really identify with this passage on many levels. It's nice to know that God doesn't forget about those going through hard times, even when others seem to have. The hard reality is that life goes on, and no one else's life stops just because you have a crisis going on in yours. You haven't been forgotten, but it can feel like it. I don't necessarily believe that the scripture is specifically and singularly dealing with orphans and/or widows in v. 5. I think the concept being presented here is that He gives guidance, love, and direction to everyone, even and especially those who have none other in their lives. He ensures justice for those who can't defend themselves. Widows during Biblical times were strapped for survival from what I understand. They didn't have support groups and childcare; their only source of income was gone. During wartime, entire cities could have been left with no men around to provide a living. Entire generations and families were completely wiped out. If you were lucky, maybe you had a smelly, unattractive, single shepherd brother-in-law that inherited you. Otherwise, it was just you. Good luck! It's nice to know that, when the daily task of survival had to be attended to, you had God in your corner. Didn't make survival any easier no doubt, but at least maybe, for part of your day, your sense of isolation might not overwhelm you.

I know that having my children around has been my saving grace through everything. Yeah, there are days when I call them by their "pet" names, Heckyll and Jeckyll, which they find hysterical even though they haven't a clue what I'm talking about. But as lonely as I have been in various ways since T. went Home, I have had two reasons for living that have kept me sane: Lil' G and Bud. He set me in a family, a blessed burden which I love so dearly and will never feel as though I've ever deserved.

I love the praise imagery in this passage, too. To see Adonai riding on the clouds -- no doubt with His beard flowing like that of a gnarly old Harley rider -- is way cool. And v. 20 is such hope for anyone of any circumstance: death can mean so many things here. 99% of you will no doubt say, "God sent Jesus to die for our sins; he saves us from death and the grave." Thank you, little Susie, here's your gold star. Would anyone else like to give an answer? Perhaps step out of the box?? What about other forms of death besides physical or spiritual death? What about that nasty black funk we get into when we're going through crisis? As the "normal" person we were before is shed as we molt our exoskeleton and lie there as a wet, defenseless new creature, looking pretty beat up and pathetic? What death have you experienced in life? Death of a spouse/child/parent/friend/etc.? Divorce? Infidelity? Getting fired? Bad test results or a diagnosis? Abuse? Depression? Significant problems with your teenage child? How long could this list really get?!? There are things probably every day that could lay us out, save the grace of God. He doesn't just swoop in on that Harley-Davidson cloud of His and carry us off into glory. But I believe that, by having a relationship with God, it saves you so much heartache. You can't prevent these things from happening, but you do have a way to make sense out of something that seems incomprehensible. I love that Natalie Grant song, "Held," which starts off talking about a 2 month old baby, dying as his mother prays for him:

Two months is too little
They let him go
They had no sudden healing
To think that providence
Would take a child from his mother
While she prays, is appalling
Who told us we'd be rescued
What has changed and
Why should we be saved from nightmares
Were asking why this happens to us
Who have died to live, it's unfair

This is what it means to be held
How it feels, when the sacred is torn from your life
And you survive
This is what it is to be loved and to know
That the promise was that when everything fell
We'd be held

This hand is bitterness
We want to taste it and
Let the hatred numb our sorrows
The wise hand opens slowly
To lilies of the valley and tomorrow

This is what it means to be held
How it feels, when the sacred is torn from your life
And you survive
This is what it is to be loved and to know
That the promise was that when everything fell
We'd be held

If hope is born of suffering
If this is only the beginning
Can we not wait, for one hour
Watching for our savior

This is what it means to be held
How it feels, when the sacred is torn from your life
And you survive
This is what it is to be loved and to know
That the promise was that when everything fell
We'd be held

I think that's what the word "saves" means here. God can't keep all the bad things from happening in our lives. What He can do is hold us, be there with us, number our tears, and give us the promise that He really does love us and will dry each of these tears. He is truly sovereign over these things and is faithful to His word.

Tuesday, May 27, 2008

I'm a Girl Who's Been Around the Block...

Between living the military lifestyle, PCSing (that's Permanent Change of Station for you civilians out there), visiting friends and family, and taking off for pure adventure, apparently I've been a few places. I just love these maps! They really help me to see what a variety of places I've gotten to go and how blessed I am to have had the opportunities to venture out and experience all sorts of God's creations... Enjoy!



create your own personalized map of the USA

As if that weren't enough...



create your own visited country map
or check our Venice travel guide

I need to work on making more of this last map red!!

Thursday, May 22, 2008

Maria Chapman

What a beautiful family. My heart literally explodes in black, foul grief when I think of the little face that won't be in the next family picture that Steven Curtis Chapman and his family take. The little girl sitting in his lap, Maria, just turned 5 years old less than 10 days ago. And now she is gone.

HOWEVER! Victory over the grave is still given to those with the name of Jesus on their lips. Praise our Almighty God for this provision that makes times like these not crush us with their pain and magnitude.

If you click on the title of this blog, you will be redirected to SCC's website that gives information. But the best part of this site is the page where you get to "meet" Maria. What a darling little girl! I have several friends who have adopted "China girls," as they have decided to be called. I wonder about Maria's birthmother, what she went through as she went through her pregnancy and delivery, and finally the last time she laid eyes on her beautiful baby girl. One of my friends whose daughter is Chinese said that there are "drop off stations," unofficial places where the orphanages know to check constantly where moms leave these babies. We won't even talk here about orphanages. How amazing is it, though, in God's plan, that He chose for this little girl to not fall through the cracks of a governmental system, but to end up in America with a family that loved and cherished her! Think, again, how many women in our own country have children that they never wanted to begin with, have many kids they treat terribly, and then those whose arms ache for children but can't even conceive one.

I wonder what went through SCC and his wife's minds as they held her for the first time, all of the "firsts" that come and go so quickly that we barely get them documented in their baby books before high school graduation. I wonder what each of their other kids thought as Maria became one of the family and what their dearest memories will be of her.

And even though I've been through deep personal loss, I do wonder what raw emotions they are going through right now. Just because one person has lost a spouse, parent, child, etc., doesn't mean that they have the FOGGIEST idea of what another person experiences in crisis. Just in case you're ever wondering what to say in moments like that, let me tell you that less is more. Just a physical presence, and even silence, can be more comforting than a well-chosen thought or Bible verse.

I can't think of any better way to end this blog than in SCC's words in the song, "Cinderella." I think of how close Lil' G and T. were and how R. fits into the future picture every time I hear this song. I also remind myself to live in the moment more with my children.

I give you, "Cinderella."

Friday, May 16, 2008

The Open-Toed Shoe Pledge


Alright ladies, it's that time of year once again!!! I think we need to be reminded of a few basic shoe fashion rules. So my sisters, PLEASE, raise your big toes and repeat after me below....

As a member of the Cute Girl Sisterhood, I pledge to follow the following rules when wearing sandals and other open-toe shoes:

1) I promise to always wear sandals that fit. My toes will not hang over and touch the ground, nor will my heels spill over the backs. The sides and tops of my feet will not pudge out between the straps.

2) I will either go polish-free or vow to keep the polish fresh, intact and chip-free. I will not cheat and just touch up my big toe.

3) I will sand down any mounds of skin before they turn hard and yellow.

4) I will shave the hairs off my big toe.

5) I won't wear pantyhose even if my misinformed girlfriend, coworker, mother, sister tells me the toe seam really will stay under my toes if I tuck it there.

6) If a strap breaks, I won't duct-tape, pin, glue or tuck it back into place hoping it will stay put. I will get my shoe fixed or toss it.

7) I will not live in corn denial; rather, I will lean on my good friend Dr. Scholl if my feet need him.

8) I will resist the urge to buy jelly shoes at Payless for the low, low price of $4.99, even if my feet are small enough to fit into the kids' sizes. This is out of concern for my safety and the safety of others. No one can walk properly when standing in a pool of sweat, and I would hate to take someone down with me as I fall and break my ankle.

9) I will take my toe ring off toward the end of the day if my toes swell and begin to look like Vienna sausages.

10) I will be brutally honest with my girlfriend/sister/coworker when she asks me if her feet are too ugly to wear sandals. Someone has to tell her that her toes are as long as my fingers and no sandal makes creepy feet look good.

11) I will promise if I wear flip flops that I will ensure that they actually flip and flop, making the correct noise while walking. I will swear NOT to slide or drag my feet while wearing them.

12) I will promise to go to my local nail salon at least once per season and have a real pedicure (they are about $25 and worth EVERY penny).

13) I will promise to throw away any white/off-white sandals that show signs of wear... nothing is tackier than dirty white sandals.

Now go forth and wear some cute sandals! (Just remember to curl your toes at the end, JO!!!)