I Just Gave Birth...

...to a new blog!

That's right -- GGG is branching out these days. I have decided to start a separate blog that focuses only on my attempt at being a PT stud. I have recently started CrossFit (again) and am trying to do it the right way. It's only been two days, but the psychological effects alone have been incredibly empowering. Ever since R. inspired me to get back into the gym a year and a half ago, I have tried to make it a priority to take better care of myself and challenge myself. While some days it has been an uphill battle of gargantuan proportions, most days it has been extremely rewarding to watch myself do things I never thought I'd do.

I'd love to motivate others, especially women and busy moms, to step up and do the same -- to step outside the comfort zone and take charge of their health. That would be gravy. (Mmm, gravy...) But really, this is a selfishly motivated blog. I'm really just doing this to be more disciplined about plotting my progress so I can look back and see how far I've come. I really want people to read and interact, but if you chose not to, that's cool, too. But please leave comments/kudos/kvetches/etc. I thrive on feedback.

So, without any further adieu, I give you...

Make It Burn.

Why I Go To The Gym

I walked away from exercise and physical exertion in a gym over 11 years ago after "tapping out" of my college's ROTC program. After only a year of doing hard PT, my joints were blown, I was exhausted, and I was beyond sick and tired of having to tolerate college boys "playing Army" when, in fact, most of them weren't even taking contracts to enter the military after college. I was only too happy to go back to a lifestyle of taking it easy, pursuing academic interests, eating and drinking to my heart's content, and popping out bowling ball-sized babies. Then I became a widow who would eventually have to get naked again and have the self-esteem not to be suicidal when I saw the look on the (un)lucky guy's face when he saw me in all my glory.

This was not the only reason why I decided to re-enter the realm of extreme neurosis physical fitness. I also realized, having recently turned 30, that I was no longer the perky, firm, healthy person I had conned myself into thinking I was. And some of you who know me or have seen me in person are already poo-pooing this and formulating your comments about how silly I'm being, etc. Perception is reality, and I try to be realistic about my age and size. Let's be honest, ladies: after 30, and perhaps children, things are longer and floppier than they used to be. You wake up one day and realize that there are simply some things in life you've got to accept and grow old gracefully. I can't make stretch marks disappear no matter how much CrossFit or P90X I do, or how many disgusting salads I force down my gullet. But I can declare war on poor muscle tone and cellulite!

So, with a couple of cute outfits, an iPod loaded with motivational music for kicking major hindquarters, and some specific workouts R. helped tailor for my needs, I entered the gym, dedicated to make my 30s the healthiest, most active and vital years of my life. Once I figured out how to make my gym experience be something I would look forward to instead of dread, I have to admit I was addicted quickly. I lost weight, and most importantly a lot of body fat, and gained a sense of accomplishment that I could affect this sort of change in my health.

That being said, this is not why I go to the gym.

My gym is fairly small. I like going in the mornings when both of the kids are in school. This is the time of day when the cardio room is full of senior citizens and a few stay-at-home moms. It's a pretty regular group of faces around here. I also started attending a pilates class and have been known to schedule doctor's and hair appointments around this class, as well as my cardio class. Again, a dedicated group of people, mostly women, are part of my regular experience in these classes.

Here is why I go to the gym: the people.

I have seen a young mother of two transform her life, and it motivates me. "Kristen" has gone from being over 50 pounds overweight with congestive heart failure to being toned and fit, lost weight, and a cardio junkie. She has literally bought years back of her life and will be able to see her children grow up, something that was seriously in danger of not happening just two years ago.

I have seen stay-at-home moms come out of their shells and network with one another, allowing themselves to invest in their own physical and emotional fitness to trust a childcare worker with their small children. They realize the importance of having a little "me" time and don't feel guilty for it.

I have seen senior citizens huff and puff at the cardio machines or shake their money makers in the Jazzercise class. As they are helping to fight off things like osteoporosis or heart problems, they are socializing and interacting in the community, reinforcing bonds and friendships that I imagine they've had for decades.

I have seen a friend of mine, who clearly lives with scoliosis, come to pilates regularly and is one of the advanced students in the class. I say "friend" -- I don't even know this woman's name. Upon hearing of my grandmother's surgery later in the day, she took the time to talk to me about her own ailing 90 year-old father and what her family is enduring. Even though we may not know each other's names, we notice when the other is not in class. We have only 5-10 minutes for any conversation, but I could tell you more about her than my next door neighbors.

Another pilates friend, "Linda," volunteers in quite possibly the scariest neighborhoods in Bell County. Upon hearing about my caregiving ministry that I'm researching and trying to develop, she asks if you have to be a member of the church to be involved. This woman has 20+ years of involvement in this type of ministry, and you can't tell me the Lord didn't place us in each other's paths so that we could be establishing a friendship that might prove to benefit ministry and outreach to the elderly, lonely, or needy.

Physical fitness is once again important in my life; however, the gym offers me spiritual exercise all the time. To see God moving and working in the lives of people, meeting everyone where they are and being blessed by the imprint that they make on this world, is something I never expected to see in an environent that smells of rubber flooring and body sweat. No wonder I'm so hooked.

Communion, Cats, and Coconuts

Bum bum BUUUMMMM!!!! I'm baaaackkk!

Yes, I've been away for, well, a little while. Some Many of you have noticed that it's been almost three months since my last entry. Several reasons for that:

1) As mentioned in the previous entry, I've been concentrating time back in the gym. I realized that the holiday pounds were sticking around, and I was already back from my spring break trip with the kids -- in March. I've kept up my committment to pilates and stepped up my cardio to three days/week. I ended up scrapping the CrossFit because it was really bulking me up. I looked like a ghetto girl sans ghetto, bootily speaking. Wasn't pretty. Had to drop weightlifting altogether, and my joints were happy to hear the news.

2) My former pastor officially left at the end of February, leaving me to stand in the gap for a crucial area of ministry that had been neglected -- fellowshipping with and taking communion to our shut-ins. For those of you unfamiliar with the term, a "shut-in" is someone in ill health or has any sundry other reason(s) why they are unable to come and worship with us at Sunday services. Many times these people are in nursing homes or assisted living facilities; other times, they are simply home-bound and it isn't safe for them to venture out of the house or be around crowds of germ-toting people. This item right here is an entire series of blogs that have been simmering in my heart like rich, hearty gumbo -- it's worth blogging about, but I will have to be careful to be confidential. So so so many things I want to share that I have learned while serving in this capacity. Needless to say, since we have not had a full time pastor, I'm the one making hospital visits and making sure these people are not forgotten during times of transition.

3) Spring break came in March, and we braved the wet and cold to spend time with R. These trips are so much fun. The kids are old pros now at navigating airports, long lines at security, and moving walkways. Flying through Denver feels like stopping at an old friend's house at this point.

4) We had to find a new home for the cats. This was a significant emotional event at my house. I spent many a sleepless night in prayer, which may seem silly considering what a burden and source of annoyance Newman in particular has been (the white one), but they have always been family nonetheless. Blog forthcoming on this topic for sure.

5) The month of April is a nightmare some years. This year really wasn't too bad, church-wise. The lenten season brings with it extra fellowship opportunities during the week, as well as contemplative worship time. Unfortunately, extra rehearsals for church musicians can wear out small children and their already-worn-out parents. My nephews also have birthdays two weeks apart in April, so we are always pulled in many directions this month. Went by in a flash.

6) We just went to Hawai'i for eight days and partied our coconuts off! We came home feeling like solar panels for the lush, tropical sun. We made sure R. wasn't lonely over there as he worked, and we also made sure that the beaches and pools were well-supervised. I was repeatedly hit on by a homeless diabetic man who wore a wool beanie to the pool and claimed to be Sean Connery and wanted to spread the Good News of the gospel. Apparently, God had only called him to spread said Good News to women in two piece bathing suits, so poor R. missed out on the fun.

The bummer of this trip is two-fold. Readjusting to the time change, which for us is five hours this time of year. The kids, as per usual, did fine. I was dragging for a couple of days. But I came back to a calendar with nothing on it, and I was so bored not having R. around. Also, switching from having someone with whom to share your time, even the mundane everyday sort of stuff, to being a single parent who sits in a quiet house alone every night is nothing short of bizarre. And even though there's always conversation over the phone, nothing beats having a shoulder to curl up next to as you laugh hysterically at "King of the Hill."

Am I sorry for the lag time here? No, not really. I have missed all the people that read my blog and leave comments. I will confess: I haven't actually been keeping up with my bloglines. I'm sure the post count is well into four digits at the rate most of you guys blog. But to be quite honest, I love working out. I love the smell of fresh-cut grass and something cooking on the grill. I love hanging out with 90 year-olds who are raging against the dying of the light or have served proudly in WWII and Korea. I love chaperoning field trips (sometimes). I love ripping weeds out of my yard and re-discovering my flower bed. I love watching the sun set as I drink a frozen sangria-swirled margarita while the kids chase bugs and watch the boats go by at one of my new favorite restaurants. I love spending time, even if we don't speak with words, with my sweetie. I love rescuing garden snakes from being run over in traffic. I'd trade real life for a computer screen any day of the week.

Empowered For The Journey

I have taken up a new hobby of sorts. It's insane and brilliant at the same time. I have become a little bored with my regular gym routine ever since I decided a year ago to reclaim my health at the beginning of my thirties and start making it look good. It's called Crossfit. I blame this latest addiction on R., as he was the one who began doing this last spring, and I completely scoffed at it. Me, do a pull up?!? Uh, yeah, what prescription medication are you abusing? You surely have me confused with someone who cares about more than Cheetos, Double Stuff Oreos, and sleeping in at every possible opportunity.



I did eventually roll my bones back into the gym and have been pretty hooked on it ever since. R. should be a personal trainer because, not only does he have an endless wealth of information about physical fitness and the human body, but he's a great motivator. The times we've hit the gym together have been great. I need someone to cheer me on and hold me accountable, and he's my Number One Fan. Or at least does a great job of making me think so as every cell in my body is crying, "Mutiny!" and begging for me to stop and rest.



With his encouragement, my disgusting vanity and competetive nature, and the knowledge that I'm actually caring for the temple entrusted to me by my Creator, I feel empowered to do things and experiment with activities that I would have never even considered five years ago. It makes me feel more productive, and I also like setting this example for my children of caring about being active and taking care of myself while I am in good health. God empowers us, too, and helps up to develop our spiritual fitness that will serve us in the future when we need to rely on it during hard times.



In Mark 9:2-13, we read about Jesus' transfiguration. Some miraculous things happen that are more than a little confusing to the disciples, and likely a little terrifying to boot. The voice of the Father commands them to listen to the "beloved Son," and afterwards the Father has empowered the Son for the next stage in his life, that of his active ministry, an intense time of movement and preaching that begins a sort of countdown to his eventual death and resurrection. In short, Jesus has one heckuva journey ahead of him.



Many theologians, from the days of the Acts 2 church until our own present time, like to debate Jesus' humanity versus his divinity. Was he really a human, true flesh and blood? Is it possible for him to have actually been God? Is it conceivable that he was actually fully both God and human, or some weird combination? I'll leave that argument to the true theologians. My personal belief is that Jesus was fully human and fully divine, "God from God, Light from Light, true God from true God, begotten not made, of one being with the Father," as we read in the Nicene Creed. This is the understanding from which I work. That being said, the way I understand this passage is such:



Jesus had a mission during his time among us, and like all things, God had a perfect time during which Jesus would serve out obediently that purpose for which he was sent. This was it -- showtime. Jesus didn't go around speaking in parables and working miracles as a toddler or a teenager, although we know that he was raised in a way that had him in and around the temple and discussion of the books of Moses. This was a new journey in his life, and God gave all power and glory to Jesus so that he would have the tools he needed to go the distance.



As I heard these words in church yesterday, I thought about all the people I know and the different journeys they are on. Some are embarking on journeys of physical healing and recovery, some are journeying into the realm of the unknown after having lost jobs in this crummy economy. Others are tentatively dipping their toes into the scary, deep pool of dating after divorce. Yet others can see the next journey that God is calling them to take, and they are hesitant to take that first step into the unknown. Personally, I'm embarking on a journey of service in my church to minister to those who are ill or elderly and cannot attend Sunday services. No matter what road we are all on in this life, God is standing on the sidelines cheering us on and empowering us to continue moving forward. God is the source of our strength, not our own mental fortitude or best efforts. By surrendering that control to God, we allow God to completely fill us with the skills, insights, patience, endurance for the journey ahead. Like R. cheering me on to do that last painful set of pull-ups or squats, God is there to see us through and knows what we need to keep us going.