BTJ Week Six: Trust and Obey

Being a former elementary school teacher, the first thing I do before any reading assignment is preview any questions I'm supposed to answer after reading a text. We taught our students to do that to help them be able to identify answers more easily in the text as they read. At any rate, it just helps me to get my thinking cap on.

But in light of the last couple of weeks I've had, my ability to focus on anything has been seriously undermined. First I was in an auto accident in which, thankfully, nobody was hurt. Two weeks later the issue is still unresolved, and as seemingly simple as it should be able to resolve, there is a whole undercurrent of nasty flowing here that started the second the lady stepped out of her car to survey the damage. Two weeks later the battle rages on with no resolution, and every time I think about the whole situation it just makes me upset all over again.

So I come home from being in the auto accident to open a piece of mail that informs us that our mortgage will be going up by a huge chunk of change monthly. After hours of phone calls and what amounts to investigative work on my end of things, we are still left with a huge bill that will probably end up being our responsibility due to the negligence and oversight of someone who was involved in the process of preparing the settlement paperwork from when we closed on our house last spring. Do we have any choice in the matter? I still don't know. Add a couple more points onto my blood pressure here, too.

Yet one more stick pulled out of the Jenga tower of my life came yesterday. Mixed in with a stack of junk mail from last month was a piece of paper with a bill in it from the Veteran's Administration asking for their overpayment from when I should have stopped receiving benefits after remarrying. To the tune of over $15,000. Yes, folks, you read that number correctly, and we are talking US dollars. Payable immediately. In one lump sum. Now I may have some hope here, but my local VA office is closed for three weeks in February (no explanation as to why), and by the time help is available I will have two weeks to either cough up the dough, find a creative solution, or have the VA attack my credit.

"Save me, O God, for the waters have come up to my neck. I sink in deep mire, where there is no foothold; I have come into deep waters, and the flood sweeps over me. I am weary with my crying; my throat is parched. My eyes grow dim with waiting for my God." -- Psalm 69:1-3

And now I'm supposed to focus on Scripture and questions?!? Actually, yes.

I'll admit now: these big burdens on me are only the tip of the iceberg; just the select few I chose to share. Trust me -- there's more where that came from. When I finally sat down, albeit late, to do my reading of Joshua 6, these questions just really did not jump off the page at me. Yes, I knew I needed to put my nose in the Word, but that was about as far as I could emotionally go. What I believe God showed me through this passage might not have related directly to the questions, but I got a lot out of the reading. So I'd just like to share a few points of how Joshua 6 related to where I am right now.

1) Joshua 6:10 -- "To the people Joshua gave this command: 'You shall not shout or let your voice be heard, nor shall you utter a word, until the day I tell you to shout, Then you shall shout.' "

What I learned: Timing here was everything. It was a matter of trust. The Israelites had a very prescriptive set of directions they had to follow, and I mean to the letter. If you know me very well, you know I am a real conversationalist. That's putting it nicely. I am a talker. I love to share ideas, have conversations with people, share my insights, seek those of others, and so on. I love to connect and relate with people. Can you imagine me, for one whole minute, having to restrain my mouth until the appointed time?!? A daunting task indeed. But what I took away from it was this: Timing for me is everything, too. Ecclesiastes 3:7b tells me that there is "a time to keep silence, and a time to speak." Maybe right now I need to quit relating my tale of drama and woe, shut my mouth, and bare my heart to God and allow him to teach me through this experience. It is my time to silence my mouth and listen. God will let me know when it's time to step up and speak out; until then, I've done enough. In the case of the auto accident, this lady has been mean and nasty since Day One, and it sounds like not much has changed there. Rather than get wound up about it, I need to entrust it to God and wait for instruction. Exodus 14:14 tells me that, "The LORD will fight for you, and you have only to keep still." (NRSV) The NKJV says to "hold your peace." Now, this doesn't mean that God is taking sides, or that just because I am a Christian that everything will turn out the way I think it should, but I need to take myself out of this equation for now, be humbled by it, and wait and listen. Pretty simple.

2) Joshua 6:16b-17a, 18 -- " 'Shout! For the LORD has given you the city. The city and all that is in it shall be devoted to the LORD for destruction. As for you keep away from the things devoted to destruction, so as not to covet and take any of the devoted things and make the camp of Israel an object for destruction, bringing trouble upon it.' "

Translated in my mind: OK, here are my EXACT instructions for you here. I have given you a victory in this circumstance, but there are some caveats to how you are to handle this. Do not step one toe over the line, because if you do, you will bring on your own consequences. You've been blessed and warned -- now go!

I may or may not experience what I believe would be successes or victories in any of these situations. But I do know that God's given me exact instructions on how to live my life, to desire that justice be done where everything is concerned, to be morally right and upstanding even if I'm at fault, and that to emerge from these trials knowing that I was obedient to that is the point of all this. It is really hard to trust in this situation, much less obey, but there really is no other way to handle any of this with a clear conscience and feel like right has really been done for all parties concerned.

Which leads me to the song I posted below. Don't know why, but TRUST and OBEY seemed to be two words that jumped out at me from Joshua 6. And wouldn't you know it? There's a great old hymn by the same name. I love this new version by Big Daddy Weave, but before I leave you now to enjoy the song, I want to share the lyrics to the third verse, which they did not include in their version of the song...

Not a burden we bear,
Not a sorrow we share,
But our toil He doth richly repay.
Not a grief or a loss,
Not a frown nor a cross,
But is blest if we trust and obey

Trust and obey,
For there's no other way
To be happy in Jesus,
But to trust and obey.

BTJ Week Five: Snip, Snip

This is one of those days where I have a lot and nothing to say. Rather than spend a lot of time and energy leading up to the questions, I think I'd rather start there and see where this leads.

"Putting It Out There" Questions for Joshua 5:

1) Have you ever met someone that you could tell was a Christian by first impression? Do you think you are easily recognizable as a Christian? Why or why not?

2) Modern Christianity tends to value "blending in" more than standing out -- agree or disagree? Why or why not?

And here's what I have to say about that!

1) The best answer I have to give here is actually about a fellow Red Group member, Angela R. She is someone who is awash in the light and love of Christ. And I specifically mean "awash". Her eyes sparkle, her skin glows, she has a hearty laugh and a soothing voice, and to be around her makes you feel like you've spent time with Jesus' cool sister. People literally flock to be around her because of how she allows God to shine forth from within her. I know she will turn 25 shades of red when she reads this because of her humble heart, which only makes my point even stronger. Regardless of the fact that I met my friend at a Bible study for women, Angela is this way 24/7 -- at church, at home, at the commissary, or like when we used to take my kids and her dog Esther for walks. I have met countless numbers of really great people, both men and women, who were Christians of varying walks and levels of maturity in the faith, but I have never seen the light of Christ beam forth so true from another human being. And while I know I can never be another Angela, or try to do or say all of the amazing things she does, she is a great example of how to be light and salt to the world. She will always be one of my role models in the faith.

2) Wow -- when I read this question, I immediately thought DISAGREE. From what I observe in American culture today, there is a slice of our country that is voraciously outspoken about Christianity, how it is to be expressed if you really love Jesus, how it should carry over into how you vote, how you should educate your children, etc. I have never seen a time in our nation's history since it's very founding when Christianity felt so up-in-your-face.

It seems to me that people these days are all about taking a stand for Jesus or something -- how can you be a Christian if you allow your children to read, 'Harry Potter'?" "Well, we chose to homeschool our children so they can receive a Christian education." "We go to XYZ church. It's non-denominational, so anyone is welcome! You really should come! We're having a GNO/Couples Night/etc...." "We should lambast and riot over removing the words 'under God' from the Pledge of Allegiance and 'In God We Trust' from our money!" "I will only vote for a Christian for whatever political office." "We only listen to the Christian channel on the radio."

Now, don't get me wrong -- I'm not saying any of those statements are patently bad. I'm just saying they are anything but trying to blend in. I just think that it borders on pride and braggish behavior when these loaded statements are tossed around in public, and in some cases and places, they have become the American right-wing status quo. How many times have you heard someone committing the offense of backing this behavior with Scripture? "Oh, Jesus said that we would be persecuted just like He was !" (ref. John 15:20 and Matthew 5:10)

Let's look at one of the word studies for this week: "circumcision"; "muwl" in Hebrew or "peritemno" in Greek.

It's defined on the Blue Letter Bible website as meaning, "circumcise, destroy, cut down, cut in pieces." When I ran the search through the NKJV Bible to see where else this word was used, I saw seven other instances of "circumcise" in the Bible, three of which specifically referred to removing or circumcising the foreskin of one's heart. POW!

I, better than some folks perhaps, can respect someone who decides, "Here I stand; I can do no other!" when it comes to the trappings of pop culture and what the Joneses are doing these days. As a wise friend Shawna said, "Prevalence does not mean permission!" However, when making a lifestyle choice because you feel convicted over it becomes your judgmental battle cry, it's hard for me to see Jesus in that. I see Jesus as an humble lamb, led blameless to the slaughter. When I read about how Joshua and the Israelites physically mutilated their bodies to restore this relationship with God, I was a little blown away by it. A) You can't tell me that didn't hurt. A lot; and B) What a powerful, tangible way to be reminded of something so intangible! To circumcise one's heart is to rip and shred its very fibers until what you have left is vulnerable, unprotected by any behavioral foreskin or verbal sheathing. As I'm sure this group of sore men could tell you, being circumcised is probably an extremely humbling experience. How does an in-your-face, I'm-a-Christian-taking-my-stand attitude exhibit a circumcised heart? Well, there's a time and a place for it, but I trust the Holy Spirit to let me know when to turn that fire hose on the crowd. Until then, I pray for strength to be like Jesus -- and my friend, Angela -- humble, slow to anger, putting others first, merciful, kind.

My Favorite Verse Of The Week: "The mann ceased on the day they ate the produce of the land, and the Israelites no longer had manna; they ate the crops of the land of Canaan that year." -- Joshua 5:12*

*I know this verse is unrelated to my blog post; however, I loved it for its symbolism of how God continued to provide for them. God may have discontinued one form of support, but support was still there, just in a different form. It spoke to me in terms of how God has provided for me and supported me through so many times and trials and how that has evolved over time.

Backpacking Through Joshua: Week Four

I find myself having time in front of the computer today because, yet again, my children are home from school due to inclement weather. Thankfully they are way past diapers, breastfeeding, and nap schedules, so they're vegging out in front of the television rotting their brains watching some lovely shows while I have laundry going, a cake baking in the oven, and time in the Word. Better enjoy it before the bambino comes along!

As much as the text is repetitive this week (for reasons that only ancient redactors will ever know), I feel like this little chapter is fraught with meaning, and the questions we've been asked to ponder and delve into have really got my cogs churning today. So let's get started!

To start off with, HisGirl is focusing on characteristics of God each week, with this week's focus being that God is unchanging. She posed the question, "Do I truly believe God is Unchanging?" At first I thought, "Well, DUH -- of course!" Then, I thought, "No, actually I don't," but now I think my final answer is "yes" but with caveats, as the military would say.

Yes: God is good. Faithful. Just. Omniscient. Omnipotent. Omnipresent. Loving. Steadfast. Eternal. And so on and so on. In my opinion, these things do not change, regardless of what is/is not going on in my life, the lives of others, or world events.

No: This is based on my knee-jerk reaction earlier, but what I understand now is that I was looking at it from the perspective of how I am interacting with God from one circumstance to another. The characteristics of God are a constant; these never change. HOWEVER! The big difference is how I am experiencing God at a certain place/time in my life. When T. died, I could truly say that God was Omnipresent and Steadfast. Was I experiencing God as being Just? No, not in that circumstance. I do not believe that God's will was that T.'s life would be cut short and that the lives of everyone around him would be ruined with grief. I do, however, believe that bad things happen in life, and they grieve God as well. I do believe it was God's will that some way, some how, there would be glory given to God throughout this tragedy and that lives would be blessed as a result.

In the section about "Concept Study," I chose to look at the word "remember" or "remembrance" and look at all the times the LORD asked someone to remember. There are 148 times that the word "remember" occurs in the KJV Biblical text, some of which are times when God is to remember a promise, covenant, or blessing, and others are times in which we are to remember. The Israelites are told to remember their dramatic exodus out of Egypt, they are told to remember the Sabbath and keep it holy, remember how the LORD led them for 40 years in the wilderness, and only about a kajillion more examples that I could keep listing but won't. For an excellent resource to use for study, go here. This is the search I ran for this word study.

Out of all the times where "remember" or "remembrance" is used, I love two examples the most:

1) Take a stroll through the Book of Psalms. Where better to read examples of individuals going through real-life trials or praises who are remembering God and how God will faithfully be there for them?!?

2) My favorite example is at the Passover meal where Jesus tells the disciples to break bread and drink wine "in remembrance of me." Why aren't churches doing communion every.single.time.they.get.the.chance??? To me, this is, aside from baptism, one of the only tangible things in the Christian religion that we can experience to connect us with the precious sacrifice of Jesus. Lutherans in particular believe that Christ is present with is "in, with, and under" the bread and the wine. True, I don't have to be having communion to know that Christ is with me, but it is such a special, sacred experience that I can't imagine not wanting to have that personal, intimate connection with Christ more often. (I am an individual who is motivated by sensory experiences, which is why I think I connect with communion in this way.)

Finally, we are "Putting It Out There":

1) How do you keep your memories of the Goodness of God alive?

2) Do you feel comfortable sharing the things God has done in/through/for/to you with your children? Your friends? Your family? Your coworkers? Why or why not?

These are actually hard to answer but I will do my best.

1) I'm ashamed to admit it, but I don't think I really, intentionally keep these memories alive. My main examples always seem to come from everything I went through surrounding the death of T., my life afterwards, and where I've come to now. That really only covers about five to six years. What about the other 30 or so years prior to that? I don't have trouble recalling these memories in times of trial; they do bring me hope and encouragement. I know blogging has been a good way to document these things, but other than that, it's a real chore to journal. It's kinda hard to take a photograph of God making your feet work so you can take baby steps, or sitting next to you during a time of woe or grief. But I can tell you that I do have photographs of some amazing friends and family who were God's way of ministering to me, and all I have to do is see their love and dedication on their faces to see God's fingerprint on the canvas of my life. "I don't know" -- can that be my answer?!?

2) Yes and no. I know this answer may surprise some, but sometimes I almost lean toward no. In my heart I want to be able to be frank with people, and I think for the most part I am. I am definitely not ashamed to explain my testimony to others and explain my religious views to others. I guess that, over the years, how I do that has changed a little, and I've gotten to be a lot more sensitive to my audience. I have never, ever been one of these street-preacher types of evangelists; in fact, people like that are extremely off-putting to me and I try to avoid them at all costs. The quote about wanting to bear spiritual fruit and not be a religious nut comes to mind. I choose not to insulate myself from what I feel is the "real world," a world of people who may or may not believe in Christ, or they may or may not be Christian even if they are religious or spiritual. I love seeing and interacting with all types and walks of people and want to appreciate the diversity of all of God's creations. That being said, they aren't changing my mind on how I feel. And when it comes to spiritual matters, or my testimony, etc., it can be a real challenge to find the words that clearly convey my perspective and personal experience in a way that 1) they can understand and relate to, and 2) not feel is condemning or judgmental language in reference to them. I strongly believe that if we are to be "light" and "salt" and be the hands and feet of Christ to the world, the majority of that calling takes us out of the Christian population and puts us in the mix with lots of types of people. I want people to come up to me and ask, "How on earth did you do it?", "How are you still standing?" "Why do you feel this way?" Then I can launch into the Real Answer in my life. I know that the Holy Spirit will put the words in my mouth that are meant for that individual to hear.

As far as my children go, it's a whole different story. They're my children, so of course they are my captive audience! I have undoubtedly made some terrible choices in my life, and I want to share that with my children at the appropriate time so that they can see me not just as Mom, but as a sinful human who is still beautiful to God since God sees who I am and what I look like in light of the cross. I also want them to hear about the times God gave me the strength to praise through pain, the times God helped me to make decisions, and all of the other amazing experiences we have had together. It is through my mother and grandmother passing along this same type of testimony that has strengthened my faith and resolve through the years, and I hope to continue that for my own children.

My Favorite Verse For Week Four: "...'When your children ask their parents in time to come, 'What do these stones mean?' then you shall let your children know, 'Israel crossed over the Jordan here on dry ground.' For the LORD your God dried up the waters of the Jordan for you until you crossed over, as the LORD your God did to the Red Sea, which he dried up for us until we crossed over, so that all the peoples of the earth may know that the hand of the LORD is mighty, and so that you may fear the LORD your God forever.' " -- Joshua 4:21-24 (NRSV)